Sorry, we didn't really mean to torture you.

THESE ARE TRULY STRANGE AND DARK DAYS FOR THE LITTLE EXPERIMENT IN DEMOCRACY GONE BAD -- FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE GOOD ‘OL USA. We are of two minds. On one hand we want to fervently wave the flag that we sincerely hope you will associate with “freedom”, while on the other hand we’re applying high voltage to the genitalia of someone we suspect of being a “terrorist”. In a nutshell – you should pardon the expression – this is America today. It’s a bit of a schizoid mess.

The latest dazzling example of this paradox has come about as the result of a lawsuit by one Mr. Kaled el-Masri. You may have already read about Mr. Masri. “I don’t think I’m the human being I used to be”, he uttered at a news conference on December 6th. He imparted this information via live video link from Germany because we’d refused him entrance into the United States. He had arrived with the intent of filing a lawsuit against George Tenet, the former director of the C.I.A., as well as three U.S. companies involved with covert C.I.A. operations.

According to Masri -- a German citizen -- he was seized by the C.I.A. in 2003 on the Serbian-Macedonian border where he was kicked, hit, and then transported to secret prisons first in Macedonia and later in Afghanistan. In these jails he was frequently drugged and stripped naked. As it turns out, it was just a case of mistaken identity. However, Masri’s lawyers are alleging that Tenet knew of the mistake, but decided to leave him under lock and key in Afghanistan for two more months before finally acknowledging the egregious error. Masri was set free in Albania in May of 2004. Oops!

This all happens to be hitting the news as Condi Rice makes the rounds of her very own Europe tour ’05. The irony is that the intent of the trip was to try and shore up support for the beleaguered U.S. of A. As if the horrors of what continues to happen in Iraq aren’t enough for her to try and explain away, she’s now being confronted with questions about “secret U.S. terror prisons” in Europe and elsewhere.

It sounds like the recent press conference with Ms. Rice and the new German Chancellor Angela Merkel was something straight out of the Hunter S. Thompson playbook. Ms. Merkel had no problem bringing up the notion that the U.S. has been flagrantly disregarding international law when it comes to the treatment of prisoners – especially those regarded as “terrorists”. On the other side of the stage Ms. Rice did her utmost best to dodge the bullet: “We have the obligation to defend our people, and will use every lawful means to do so,” she stated, while adding that the public debate over the secret prisons ought to include a “healthy respect for the challenges we face” fighting terrorism.

Indeed. The message is clear: Don’t mind us while we act like savage barbarians in our misguided attempt to cleanse the world of savage barbarians. After all, which barbarian do you want in charge? The one with Cheney & Rove and lots of corporate backing or a ragtag bunch of unorganized enemies of imperialism? Well, for the time being the world seems to be saying maybe we don’t have to have either. It’s an interesting notion.

As the Bush administration continues it’s long and harrowing descent down the steep, dark side of the roller coaster ride, one can only wonder where all of this will net out in years to come. With Nixon, at least, we had the modest satisfaction of a humiliating resignation from office and a final helicopter ride from the White House lawn.

The trickle of dissent is finally turning into something of a waterfall – witness Harold Pinter’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech: "You have to hand it to America. It has exercised a quite clinical manipulation of power worldwide while masquerading as a force for universal good. It's a brilliant, even witty, highly successful act of hypnosis." True enough. According to the New York Times, the view of Europeans is that they understand the terrorist threat perfectly well. But they feel that the Bush administration's flouting of democratic standards and international law incites MORE terroism, not less.

Even so, it’s hard to imagine Bush & Company being run out of town on a rail just yet. But then again, times are very strange. Maybe there is a bit of honest light at the end of the tunnel. One can only hope.

It's time to fire the cowboy.

OK, so according to all major news sources -- how many is it that we need reporting the very same thing? -- GWB, that is to say the President of this formerly rather enjoyable country, has accepted responsibility for the "failures of the federal government in its response to Hurricane Katrina." Just for the record (judge Roberts), here's the entire quote: "Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government, and to the extent that the federal government didn't do it's job right, I take responsibility." OK, so it is kind of a hedge. But you know from the past how GWB hates to accept any kind of responsibility for anything that went wrong -- does no WMD's in Iraq ring a bell? -- so this is a significant change of behavior.

Well, I have one response. We the people accept that you, Mr. President, have finally accepted responsibility for just one of the catastrophes that have occured on your watch, so now we'd like you to step aside. Put bluntly, we'd like to fire your ass once and for all. And please while we're at it, can we get one of those hard-to-find buses that couldn't make it to New Orleans in time to save a lot of folks who couldn't afford an automobile? Let's get one to instead pull up at the White House so you, Mr. Cheney, Mr. Rumsfeld, Ms. Rice and especially Mr. Rove can all get on at the very same time. I'm sure that if you had a chat with them they might also be willing to accept some responsibility for the complete and utter failure of your "bomb first and ask questions later" policy in Iraq. Just today, rebels in Iraq killed about 150 people in a combined wave of gruesome attacks. Things are not getting better there, and like Vietnam, it's time we accept that reality and get the hell out.

Or, if you need a bit more convincing, let's look at energy policy. The most recent numbers show that the soaring price of gasoline is finally (FINALLY) causing Americans to climb into their automobiles a bit less. Well, what do you know? Now imagine if you had made developing alternative fuel vehicles a priority for the nation rather than dismantling environmental regulations, starting a war and providing huge tax cuts to your wealthiest friends. Thanks to relaxed federal standards, fule economy on cars and trucks in the U.S. is actually declining! It's beyond belief given what's happening with global warming and oil dependency. Are you ready to accept responsibility here, too?

What's most astonishing to me is that the last guy in your position was impeaced for not telling the truth about having sex with an intern. Surely history will record that your failures -- which have resulted in substantial loss of life now, and for some time to come -- are in an entirely different league. It's like a litterbug going to jail while the serial killer gets off with an apology.

It's time for you and your pals to go. Now, my guess is that just like Nixon, you won't be able to see this for yourself. It will take some convincing. Therefore, it must be up to us. It's gone beyond "Impeach Bush" bumperstickers. It's time to move on to the real thing. Just imagine how much better we'll all feel. And what a true service you'd be doing for your country. Finally, you'd get something right. No apologies needed.