Freedom's not free, but maybe it should be.

From today's NY Times: 'Nearly a quarter-century ago, the mantra 'information wants to be free' heralded an era in which news, entertainment and personal communications would flow at no charge over the Internet. Now comes a rallying cry: software wants to be free. "If Microsoft had to start over today, it wouldn't even think about charging money for it's software," said Yun Kim, an industry analyst with Pacific Growth Equities. "Nobody in their right mind is developing a business in the consumer market to charge for software."

I admit I had to read these words twice, just to be sure I had it right. But what this says, unequivocally, is that it won't be all that long before 'all your softwares belong to us', which is a bit of shift from what we're used to. I mean even if you've been pirating music, dubbing movies from dvd's and ripping your favorite porn to your hard drive six times a day, everyone is used to paying for at least a few of the most substantial applications. My understanding is that a few hardy souls even pay for everything. I tend not to go out for drinks with these individuals.

However, I'm glad to hear the pay-as-you-go scenario is about to come to an end. Right on! I never liked paying for any of that stuff anyway. And in the spirit of Mr. Kim's business plan advice, I'd like to mention a few other things I'd like to start getting for free. The sooner the better, too.

First -- I'd like all my wine to be free. Especially the really good stuff that my friends show up with just to humiliate me that costs upward of $100 a bottle. I'd like a dozen cases or so of 2005 Chateauneuf du Pape, as well as a cellar full of vintage Willimatte Valley Pinot Noir, Australian Shiraz, German Reisling, Italian Barolo, and a few dozen of the Sommelier grade Reidel glasses on the side. All free. Thank you very much.

Next, well let's see, there are a number of countries I need to visit to round out my understanding of the world as it is, so I'd like to visit Greece, Italy, France, the Patagonia region of Argentina and Chile, Bali, Maui, and Alaska. Just for starters. I'd like all my accommodations to be on the level, of say, the Ritz-Carlton, which seems fairly modest in this new era of free software, don't you think? Good.

Let's see, next, I'd like to be able to write film dialogue like this without having any understanding of the true nature of capitalism, or having read (or paid for) any substantial literature whatsoever:

"Are you an assassin?"
"No, I'm a soldier."
"You're neither. You're an errand boy sent by the grocer to collect the bill."

In addition, I'd like to be able to control the weather, at least where I live, for free. If it's astonishingly sunny outside, but I feel like the world needs to come to an end tomorrow, I want to be able to call up a class five hurricane, on demand, without seeing that appear on my Visa bill next month.

Oh, and then there's dating. Dating costs even more than software from Microsoft. So from now on, I'd like all my exploratory dinner dates to be arranged free of charge. The waiter doesn't even have to mention this. At the end of a rather lengthy meal, he could just present the bill to my table, and I could scribble a signature on something to indicate my tacit agreement not to pay a nickle for what might turn out to be a complete waste of time, or an evening that may proceed to go down in the pantheon of astral-plane carnal experiences. Either way, I think it would be best if the entire meal, including the tip, is free. I mean it's a roll of the dice, so free makes a lot of sense here.

Next. I'd like all my weed to be free. Humboldt county, outdoor grown, pesticide free, thank you very much. I remember when I used to get high (but not too frequently, just like Barrack) and listen to that Jefferson Starship album where Grace sings about 'free dope, free music' and that was certainly before the era of free software. So, please, I think the free dope part is wayyyy overdue. I mean seriously, does anyone have a problem with this? I thought not.

In addition, I have a question. Can I get out of this possession and status-obsessed nation which also happens to have one of the worst governments in the history of mankind and go live in some saner place like Costa Rica or maybe New Zealand -- for free? I realize this is a lot to ask for - maybe even more than some lame word processing software at no charge. So therefore, I might be willing to come up with a few bucks myself to make this happen. But since people are getting their software for free, I expect a bit of a discount. Regardless, I'm beginning to enjoy this new 'stuff for free' idea. Maybe the revolution is going to be phased in slowly, so none of the bastards at the top will even notice. After all, if we're not paying for anything, the robber-barons can't be any better off than the rest of us.